Sajak-sajak Angga Wijaya [Festival Bali Jani, 28 Oktober 2021]

 

Angga Wijaya, penyair kelahiran Jembrana-Bali diundang membaca puisi-puisi pada Adilango (Pergelaran) Pembacaan Karya Sastra “Malam Kata Rupa dan Suara-Harmoni Diri dan Bumi” Festival Seni Bali Jani (FSBJ) III, 28 Oktober 2021 mendatang. Baginya, ini merupakan kesempatan bagus, sastra modern mendapat tempat yang setara dan sama dengan seni tradisional Bali—imej yang terlanjur melekat jika kita membicarakan hal-ihwal seni (di) Pulau Dewata.

 

Berikut puisi-puisinya yang juga telah diterjemahkan ke dalam bahasa Inggris.

Menurut salah satu kurator festival tersebut "Tiga puisi ini sublim, sosial dan personal luluh padu".

 

Sajak-sajak Angga Wijaya

[Dibacakan pada Festival Bali Jani, 28 Oktober 2021]

 

 

 

Lagu untuk Ibu

Jika engkau selalu berdendang tentang
kepalsuan dunia, aku pernah ingin mati
tinggalkan semua kenangan tentang diri

Mimpi buruk hantui malam, walau aku
tahu masa lalu telah lama berlalu dan
kalender berganti tanpa pernah kusadari

Engkau di mana saat aku kecil dirawat
di rumah sakit dan terus menanyakan
mengapa kau belum juga datang melihat

Aku terpaksa pulang ke kampung halaman
saat skizofrenia merampas mimpi indah
hidupku, harapan yang sekejap kandas

Akhirnya aku mengenalmu, tak ada lagi
sesal kelahiran, kupeluk masa lalu seperti
memeluk tubuh tuamu di dingin dini hari

Kutemui lagi ibu yang dulu tak sempat
kukenal, ia mengusap kesedihan di hati
yang gundah dan kalah oleh kenyataan

Ibu membaca puisi-puisiku dalam buku.
Ia sangat senang melihat diriku kembali
temukan kepingan diri yang dulu hilang

Kudengar suara pelan di telepon, ibu
datang ke kota tempatku kini bekerja
Kami saling menatap penuh rasa haru


2020

 

 

 

 

A Song for Mother

 

If you always sing about

the fake world, I’ve ever wished to die

leaving memories behind about myself

 

Nightmares haunted the nights, ‘though I

knew that pasts had long gone and

calendar was replaced without I ever notice

 

Where were you when the little me was left

in the hospital and continuously inquired

why hadn’t you come yet to visit

 

I was forced to go back home

when schizophrenia robbed my fancy dream

my life, a hope that ran aground in seconds

 

I could finally recognize you, no more

regret about birth, I’d embraced the past like

embracing your old body in a cold dawn

 

I saw again a mother that I hadn’t

acknowledged before, she wiped sadness in heart

that was restless and defeated by reality

 

Mother read my poems in the book.

Immensely happy to see me back

to find the lost piece of me.

 

I heard her soft voice in the telephone, mother

came to the city where I worked

Stared at each other, we’re filled with emotion

 

2020

 

(Translated from Bahasa Indonesia by Dian Purnama Dewi)

 

 

 

Malam Hari, Lampu-lampu Padam

Ada bisik sepasang kekasih
Di malam ramai bunyi jangkrik
Lampu-lampu seketika padam
Jalanan sepi bagai kota mati

"Apakah harimu bahagia?",
tanya perempuanku tiba-tiba
Lapar yang datang menikam
Mataku jatuh di dompet lusuh

Awal bulan saatnya membayar utang
Tagihan ini-itu membuat pening diri
Sementara tabungan tak banyak ada
Habis untuk makan dan rokok keparat

Malam adalah waktu yang aku rindu
Insomnia, terjaga hingga pagi datang
Obat tidur aku telan dengan terpaksa
Teman setia sepuluh tahun belakangan

Terlelap, di pagi hari kecemasan datang
Datang dan pergi bagai hujan di kota ini
Sampai kapan seperti ini, kau bertanya
Kujawab dengan entah; kepalaku penuh!

2018

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Night Time, The Lights Went Out

 

Whisper of lovers

in the night jazzed up by crickets

Lights suddenly went out

Roads, as empty as a dead city

 

“Are your days filled with happiness?”,

my woman asked all of sudden.

Hunger came stabbing

my eyes, down to the shabby wallet

 

Beginning of the month, time to pay debts

the bills of this and that, granting me headache

While not much of the savings left

gone for food and those damn cigarettes

 

Nights are times that I missed

Insomnia, kept me awake ‘till morning came

sleeping pills, I swallowed in force

my loyal friend in the last ten years

 

Falling asleep, in the morning anxiety showed up

Come and go like the rain in the city

How long will this last, you wondered

I answered with who knows; my head is all stuffed!

 

2018

 

(Translated from Bahasa Indonesia by Dian Purnama Dewi)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

JL. Sri Wedari, Ubud

Roti yang kau beri belum kumakan
Aku telah kenyang oleh perjalanan
Patung-patung di sepanjang jalan
Mengajarkanku makna masa silam
; kasih, kesabaran adalah awal dan
akhir bagi para pencari.

Memasuki rumahmu, aku merasa
kembali pulang. Keheningan
menyambutku seperti dulu.
Potretmu tergantung di dinding
Mata yang tajam namun teduh
Telanjangi diri yang penuh khilaf

Aku ingin duduk bersamamu
Mendengar petuah dan nasihatmu
Meski pernah kubaca sebelumnya
pada buku-bukumu yang menohok
sanubari. Kau tunjukkan jalan dan
mengajakku berjalan ke dalam diri
Perjalanan bagi para pemberani.

Ah, jiwa-jiwa yang rindu pulang
Aku bersama mereka menemuimu
Bersila di temaram cahaya, lagumu
membawaku terbang, tak terasa
mata ini basah oleh haru-bahagia
Kututup mata dan masuki diri
Hening. Rumah yang kucari
di keramaian dunia.


2018

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Street of Sri Wedari, Ubud

 

The bread you gave, I hadn’t eaten

I was full with journeys

Statues along the streets

taught me what the past means

; compassion, patience is a beginning and

ending for a seeker

 

Getting into your house, I felt

like going home. Silence

greeted me like it used to be.

Your portrait hung on the wall

Keen but calm eyes

stripped off myself full of mistakes

 

I wanted to sit with you

Listening to your words and advice

Though I’ve ever read them before

in your books, striking

my mind. You showed the way and

took me to walk into myself

Journeys for the braves

 

Ah, the souls who are missing home

I walked with them to see you

crossing my legs in the dim light, your song

made me fly, unconsciously

these eyes are wet by happiness

I closed my eyes and entering myself

Solitude. It’s the home I’ve been searching

in this hustling world.

 

2018

 

(Translated from Bahasa Indonesia by Dian Purnama Dewi)

 

 

Tentang Penyair

I Ketut Angga Wijaya, lahir di Negara, Bali, 14 Februari 1984. Mengawali karir kepengarangan sebagai penulis puisi sejak SMA tahun 2001 saat bergabung di Komunitas Kertas Budaya di kota kelahirannya, tempat ia menimba banyak ilmu pada Nanoq da Kansas, guru pertama yang mengajarinya menulis, bermain teater, membaca kehidupan, dan melihat dunia dari sisi lain.

Melanjutkan studi ke kota Denpasar, ia tetap menulis puisi, mengisi lembar sastra-budaya koran lokal dan membawanya pada banyak perhelatan sastra, di antaranya Festival Sastra Internasional (2003) yang digagas Komunitas Utan Kayu Jakarta dan jejaring komunitas sastra di Bali. Ia mulai menekuni esai sejak 2008, saat menjadi wartawan tabloid budaya di Denpasar dan kolumnis koran Independent News yang memberinya ruang berekspresi dan mengasah mata pena serta kemampuan menulisnya.

Pernah kuliah di Program Studi Antropologi Fakultas Sastra Universitas Udayana, tak rampung karena penyakit mental skizofrenia mendera di ujung studi membuat ia berada di titik nol kehidupan. Ia terselamatkan berkat cinta dan dorongan kekasih yang membuatnya bangkit, kembali berkarya dan bekerja di Denpasar.

Perkenalan dengan seorang psikiater membuatnya bisa pulih, bersama kawan-kawan senasib membangun Komunitas Peduli Skizofrenia Indonesia (KPSI) simpul Bali yang kini menjadi garda depan pemberdayaan ODS (Orang dengan Skizofrenia) di Bali dan aktif mengedukasi masyarakat terkait isu kesehatan mental.

Sejak awal 2018 ia telah menerbitkan 6 (enam) buku kumpulan puisi, Catatan Pulang (Pustaka Ekspresi, 2018), Dua Kota Dua Ingatan (Basabasi, 2019), Taman Bermain (Purata Publishing, 2019) dan Notes Going Home (Pustaka Ekspresi, 2019), Tidur di Hari Minggu (Mahima Institute Indonesia, 2020) dan Menulis Halusinasi (Lire Publisher, 2021). Juga, buku kumpulan esai Masa Depan Itu Nisbi (Pustaka Larasan, 2020), buku kumpulan artikel Aku Tak Lagi Mendengar Bisikan Suara (Megalitera, 2020), dan buku kumpulan esai Umbu, Simfoni, Sunyi (Renungan Anak Muda) (Narulis Publisher, 2021).

Pada September 2021, beberapa puisinya diterjemahkan dan diterbitkan di Korea Selatan dalam program penerjemahan puisi penyair disabilitas oleh Korean Cultural Centre bekerja sama dengan Yayasan Bina Ilmu Bali.

Selain bekerja sebagai penulis dan wartawan, dia juga bergiat di Rumah BISAbilitas Denpasar, berbagi ilmu tentang kepenulisan serta mengelola portal sastra sebagai wadah berkarya bagi kawan-kawan penyandang disabilitas di Bali. Ia bisa dihubungi di akun Instagram @anggawijaya548

 

 

About the Poet

 

I Ketut Angga Wijaya was born in Negara, Bali, 14^th February 1984, starting his career in writing as a poet since high school in 2001 when he was taking part in Kertas Budaya Community in his hometown, where he learned a lot from Nanoq da Kansas, his first teacher guiding him in writing, theatrical act, reading life, and seeing the world from different point of view.

 

Continuing his study in Denpasar, he kept writing poems, writing for culture and literature column of local newspaper and it took him to many literary events, including International Literature Festival (2003) initiated by Utan Kayu community Jakarta and literature community networks in Bali. He began to write essays since 2008, upon being a journalist of cultural tabloid in Denpasar and columnist of Independent News newspaper, giving him a space to express and sharpen his skills and writing ability.

 

Angga once studied anthropology at Faculty of Letters of Udayana University, but couldn’t finish his study since mental illness - schizophrenia - stroke him in his final years of study, taking him to the bottom point of his life. He was then saved thanks to love and support given by his girlfriend, encouraging him to rise, back to write and work in Denpasar.

 

His acquaintanceship with a psychiatrist enabling him to recover, together with friends of the same fate found Indonesian Schizophrenia Care Community (KPSI) of Bali which now become the front line to empower people with schizophrenia (ODS) in Bali and actively educate the society in regards to mental health issue.

 

Since early 2018, he has published 6 (six) books of poems: Catatan Pulang (Pustaka Ekspresi, 2018), Dua Kota Dua Ingatan (Basabasi, 2019), Taman Bermain (Purata Publishing, 2019), Notes Going Home (Pustaka Ekspresi, 2019), Tidur di Hari Minggu (Mahima Institute Indonesia, 2020), and Menulis Halusinasi (Lire Publisher, 2021). Also, book of essays: Masa Depan Itu Nisbi (Pustaka Larasan, 2020), book of articles: Aku Tak Lagi Mendengar Bisikan Suara (Megalitera, 2020), and book of essays: Umbu, Simfoni, Sunyi (Renungan Anak Muda) (Narulis Publisher, 2021).

 

In September 2021, some of his poems were translated and published in South Korea in a program of poems translation of disabled poets, initiated by Korean Cultural Centre in cooperation with Bina Ilmu Bali Foundation.

 

Apart from working as a writer and a journalist, he’s also active at Rumah BISAbilitas Denpasar, sharing his knowledge on writing and managing a literature portal as a media of creativity for disabled people in Bali. Angga can be reached out at his Instagram account @anggawijaya548